“I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them.” This is a quote spoken by the character Andy Bernard in the TV show “The Office”, toward the end of the series (to my knowledge, it wasn’t a quote borrowed from elsewhere, but I’m not certain). The line is said in the context of the fact that Andy, who now has his dream job working at his alma mater – Cornell University – still finds himself reminiscing about his time spent with his “pals” as an average working paper salesman in the small city of Scranton, PA.
This same logic applies to many aspects of life. Hindsight is 20-20, and it’s simply striking how often we find ourselves learning lessons or coming to realizations by reflecting on the past, rather than clueing in when it really matters – in the moment. A short while ago, I came across a social media joke depicting a furious cartoon character (so furious its head was nearly exploding) with a caption that read something like “my mom as soon as she gets home from work and the dishes aren’t done”.
Of course, many social media users, likely teens, were reacting with laughter to the post. It’s relatable. In fact, I remember my dad being furious with me one day when he came in from work one summer afternoon to find my teenage self watching videos while none of the basic household chores were done. I remember being self-righteously offended that he was mad. “What kind of dad gets mad at their kids for just enjoying themselves?” was my thought. Oh the arrogance! “Dad, you’ve worked all day and are the glue holding the family together most days and I can’t be bothered to take a break from 8 hours of relaxation to do a load of dishes and take the garbage out!”
Now that I experience the same with my own kids (although I admit, they are very helpful and take much initiative), I can’t believe how I acted back then. Where does that sense of entitlement and cluelessness come from? One of life’s great mysteries…
Another social media post I saw had a similar “let’s all laugh at the parents of the world” type of vibe regarding a mom flipping out with the phrase “we’ve got food at home!” halfway through being asked about stopping at McDonalds. Isn’t it funny how “McDonalds vs no McDonalds” seems like such a brainlessly obvious choice when you’re a kid and not the one paying. Oh, the innocence of childhood! This same logic goes for purchasing items like toilet paper and dish soap and lawnmower fuel, etc (this list could go on for pages and pages) – these items come at a significant cost, which ends up shocking everyone when they move out of their childhood home, where these items were “free”.
Don’t think for one second that the current generation is the only ungrateful or clueless one! No matter how young or old you are, you had these same moments of arrogance and innocence in your youth. The only difference with this generation is that they have social media to broadcast their (hopefully temporary) stupidity to the world!
One thing I have realized, as I inch closer and closer to turning the ripe old age of 30 in September, is that the revelations and epiphanies and hindsight will probably never stop coming. I will never stop reflecting on past realities and coming up with new realizations of just how much I wish I had known back then. I suspect many other readers will feel the same.
Now that I coach both of my kids’ sports, and also sit on the executive board of one of the local sports clubs, I realize that the sports I played as a kid didn’t just “happen”. It wasn’t just a bunch of moms and dads driving out to watch a baseball or soccer or hockey game – there is so much work to be done to make organized sports a reality for kids, and most of it is volunteer work! Even just the realization that somebody, somewhere, has to tirelessly comb through names and ages and place the kids on teams to build up all the different rosters in the league – this is something typically done by an already exhausted mom or dad on their own time on an evening or weekend. It is not a job that comes with a lot of “thank yous” or even awareness that it’s happening, but kids wouldn’t have sports without it! Why do we have to live these experiences for ourselves before we really clue in? Why can’t we put ourselves in others’ shoes, instead of going through life with a total lack of appreciation for all that others do, only to figure it out later and wish we had shown some understanding and gratitude?
One editorial is not going to change the world, and maybe it shouldn’t. Perhaps being an arrogant little toe rag is part of the recipe for growing up. If every generation follows the same pattern, with its teenage years marked by a period of “big shot who needs to be humbled”, then maybe the brain needs those experiences to reach maturity. I’m a big believer of the idea that people become wiser as they become older, and that experiences shape this development. If only I had realized this sooner (catch 22?). Oh well – it’s all part of the wild ride called life!
