With Art on the Waterfront hitting the riverside in Chesterville this weekend, it has made me think more about these social events, and how important we should consider them in any community and for every individual and family.
Once upon a time, getting out of the house for entertainment was essentially a requirement for anyone not wanting to be banished to a life of mind-numbing boredom. Before television and radio, leisure at home would have consisted of reading, chatting, sit-down games like chess, and perhaps in nice weather, a game of sport. Outside of the home is where the most exciting entertainment and leisure would take place. This is what made theatre groups, art exhibitions, and symphony orchestras so popular generations ago. If you go back far enough in history – before recording technology was invented and affordable – a trip to hear a symphony performed live was special because in all likelihood, that would be the only time in your life you would hear that music. One chance to absorb the work of a master.
It’s not surprising that getting out of the house used to be so popular. It’s also not a surprise, though it is sad, that people are no longer as inclined to leave the comfort zone of their own four walls. A person can now do all of their Christmas shopping without leaving the couch. A family can huddle around a screen to watch something like a solar eclipse without having to get in the car. An individual can earn a hefty salary through a computer screen without even getting out of bed, if they secure the right job.
What developmental value can come from an event like Art on the Waterfront? Well, besides taking in the educational opportunities (for patrons young and old), there is also something offered by these events that society needs now more than ever – live social interaction. There are so many people I encounter every day who seem to lack basic social skills, and it’s simply because they don’t give themselves enough chances to practice (or for youth, perhaps their parents haven’t given them these opportunities). There is no sense in shaming people for their screen time – we are essentially all “guilty” of having too much screen time in this day and age. But there needs to be a balance. Virtual reality is not life.
Speaking of screen time (yes yes… hypocrisy, I know), I recently came across a post in a parenting group from a father who explained that when they have guests at their house, he brings food to his daughter’s room so she doesn’t have to show her face. He also invites her to send a text if she needs anything else. Many commenting were celebrating this father for respecting that his daughter is an “introvert” and accommodating her accordingly. I struggle to see anything to celebrate – on the contrary, this seems like a parent setting his daughter up for a life of struggle and incompetence with the most basic functions.
Introversion and extroversion are personality traits. Extroverts are outgoing people who get their energy from being with others. They are not shy about expressing their opinions and they usually don’t mind being the centre of attention. They have many friends. Introverts are more quiet and reserved. They like to sit back and listen. They don’t like being in the spotlight. They “recharge their batteries” with periods of solitude. They enjoy one-on-one social relationships. But it’s important to remember – introverts are not hermits, and they are not socially inept.
Introverts can call to make their own appointments. They can order their own food in restaurants. They enjoy interaction with other humans, just in quieter settings and with fewer people. Introverts can meet new people and understand the usual social graces. They are often not shy, and can speak their mind when it’s warranted. In other words, introverts are not helpless individuals who rely on extroverts. When we think of a teenager who is so riddled with anxiety that she can’t come into the kitchen to grab a plate of food and say a quick “hello” when her parents have guests, we’re talking about social ineptitude brought on by a condition such as social anxiety disorder – this is a pathological condition that should be treated, much like a person with a broken arm would go and see a doctor. Respecting when people want alone time is one thing, but actively encouraging unhealthy phobias and a complete lack of social and life skills, incorrectly believing that you are respecting someone’s “introversion”, is toxic and enabling. Regardless of introversion or extroversion, everyone should be afforded opportunities to practice the social and life skills necessary for independence and for contributing meaningfully to society!
I identify as an extrovert, so I enjoy many North Dundas events. Meet Me on Main Street is perhaps my favourite, but I also like the local Fairs, the Canada Day celebrations, and of course the smaller traditional events such as the South Mountain Duck Race. I understand that the crowds may be overwhelming to some introverts, but why not take your kids to at least some of these events and let them have the opportunity to get to know their own preferences for socializing? Even if your kids are introverted, it’s still valuable for them to know how to order a snack from a local vendor, or ask for directions to get to an activity they want to see. This type of social practice can be critical later in life when they need to announce their arrival at the front desk for a job interview, or when they need to call and make their own children an appointment, or order food for delivery.
Life is busy – few people will make it to every local event. But it’s time we all take a step back and realize how valuable our local events are, and how lucky we are to have them. Bored this weekend? Art on the Waterfront (or should we call it “Life Skills on the Waterfront”?) is ready to welcome the whole family with open arms. All jokes aside… stay safe and have fun!